It's finally here!!!

It's the day we've been counting down to...

CHRISTMAS!!!

...I can't believe it's finally here!!!

For me it's been a crazy 24 hours.  There has been so much to do.

Before I could tend to my family obligations, I needed to finish up my elf responsibilities.  All the toys were made. I double checked the naughty/nice list, and last, I labeled and packed the gifts for Santa's sleigh.

As one of the directors in the Minneapolis division, another responsibility that I have is to coordinate the delivery route for Santa.  When Santa reaches the Minneapolis division, he comes to our workshop to not only pick up the toys, but also to pick up one of the directors in the Minneapolis division to help guide him through our city.  It was my turn this year.

Since Santa needs to make sure he isn't seen during his delivery, us elves will go into each house with him to keep guard.  Technically the children are not supposed to see Santa or the elves, but in necessary situations, an elf can reveal themselves to keep the child from seeing Santa.

I'm really good at my job, so I've never had to reveal myself to a child.  This year though, this adorable little guy snuck up on me and I didn't have enough time to warn the big guy, so I had to scoop him up and reveal myself.

Luckily I distracted him long enough that Santa was able

to finish delivering his gifts without being seen.

Outside of that one encounter, we had a successful night delivering gifts to all the good children in the Minneapolis division.  Once Santa dropped me back off at the workshop, my elf duties were completely finished until next November.

With my elf duties out of the way, I locked up the workshop for the year and headed home. To say I was tired would be an understatement.  I probably could have slept for the next 5 days, but Reilly woke me up at 700am, eager to go see what Santa left him in his stocking.

He was beyond excited to see what Santa had left him in his stocking.

After checking to see what Santa had left for us, I always make Reilly a special Christmas breakfast.

Click here to see the video on YouTube.

I hope you have had as much fun following my antics as I have had creating holiday antics.  They say that you should save the best for last, so as we close the chapter on Christmas 2012, I leave you with this.

Click here to see the video on YouTube.

While this holiday season is over, let's not forget that there are a lot of holidays between now and next Christmas.  Chances are that the antics will continue periodically throughout the year, so make sure to Follow By Email*.

*You probably will not be able to subscribe from a mobile device, but should be able to in a web browser to subscribe by filling out your email address at the bottom of the page.

The Home Stretch

Christmas is almost here and I have no idea how I'm going to get everything done in time.

Yesterday I got my shopping and cooking out of the way...

Click here to see the video at YouTube.

...but I still have so much more to do.

T-Minus 1 Day Until Christmas...

The Magic of Bells

Christmas is a magical time of year, but being the cynic that I am, it is hard for me to take anything at face-value.

Thanks to the power of Snopes, I'm usually able to find the truth behind these seemingly unbeleiveable magical Christmas claims, but Snopes doesn't always have the answers for everything.

After searching high and low, I still had one question left...

Is it true that every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings?

I guess it is up to me to find out if this is true...

Click here to see the video on YouTube.

T-Minus 2 Days Until Christmas....

Elf-nesia

Christmas is literally right around to corner. If you blink for too long you might just miss it.

While I absolutely love working as an elf from mid-November to Christmas, I am ready to get back in to my regular routine. 

Usually I do most of my work in the Minneapolis division, but my boss, the Chief Executive Elf of Gadget Creation, was having a baby last Christmas. All of our Executives are located at the North Pole, so that's where I headed.

It's always a little difficult to adjust back to normal living after spending a whole month and a half as an elf, but I found last year to be especially hard after spending that month and a half so far way from the real world.

As you will see in the video, the simplest of things escape you after spending a month with a bunch of elves.

Click here to view on YouTube

T-Minus 3 Days Until Christmas...

...don't blink or you'll miss it!

Why even bother?

Either you are seeing this and thinking, that's all? No additional story about it being the end of the world.

Or you are not seeing this, which means I'm glad I didn't waste the last few hours of my life trying to come up with something witty to say.

Is it going to happen or not?

T-Minus 4 Days* Until Christmas...

*As long as the Mayans weren't right

Hawaiian Christmas

I would trade in a White Christmas for a Hawaiian Christmas any year. However, it's unrealistic to think I am going to get a trip to Hawaii for Christmas, so I have to do the next best thing.

Bring Hawaii here.

Click here to view on YouTube 

T-Minus 5 Days Until Christmas...sucks that the world is going to end tomorrow though.

Bummer.

Oh Christmas Tree

Yesterday I shared how us elves love to Rock Around the Christmas Tree, but today I realized I left out a significant part of the story.  That part is that the Christmas Tree also rocks out with the elves.

I can't divulge all the details in how this happens, but let's just say we use some of the magical Christmas dust that Santa uses to fit down the chimney. Just a little sprinkle and the tree comes to life.

It's alive!

The tree may not be the best dancer at the North Pole, but the tree sure does try.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

I went with the German version in honor of my brother and Maren. :)

T-Minus 6 Days Until Christmas...

Dancing Elf

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree is a favorite song of ours at the North Pole.  Last night I was rocking out to it and pulled out some of my best moves.

Disco. Robot. Gangnam. Running Man. Sprinkler. Plus Some.

I though it would be fun to make it in to a game.

The eight dancing elves are hiding in the picture below.  See if you can find them all before going to the answer page.

Click here to see the answers.

A special thank you to Tara Peterson for providing the inspiration behind the dancing elf...

Sorry for the less than stellar quality. Also, sorry that the iPhone hates videos from Blogger,
so if you want to see it, you'll need to watch from a computer.

T-Minus 7 Days Until Christmas...

Peppermiz and Ruff-ta

Christmas is just around the corner and I'm finishing the last of the gifts for the good little boys and girls.

It's been especially stressful this year because I was placed on probation.  Apparently revealing that there are mini-workshops all around the world is a violation of Section 1, Sub-Section 2.25.  I guess I missed that one in training.

I just got my badge back from the Big Guy,
so I'm finally cleared to go back to work.

Ever since revealing my true identity I've been getting a lot of questions about elf logistics.

Interestingly, I got a lot of questions about pets.  As I'm sure any of you that have good pets know, they are rewarded with presents on Christmas, just like good little boys and girls.

I want to set the record straight though.  Those gifts are not from the same Santa. I repeat. Those gifts are not from the same Santa.

Don't feel bad for not knowing that. Before I took on my position at the North Pole Limited I didn't know that either.

The truth of the matter is that there is actually a separate division of North Pole Limited that is fully staffed by animals. They are completely responsible for toy creation, monitoring the nice list, and gift delivery.

This is Peppermiz Floppy-Feet.
He is my counter-part in the Pet Division.

Each animal elf is paired up with a human
elf mentor. I've been mentoring Peppermiz since
he joined the fleet 6 years ago.

Not only are there separate elves, but there is a separate Santa that delivers gifts on Christmas Eve.  Well, technically his name isn't Santa.  Pet Santa is called Rufff-ta.

If Ruff-ta gets to a house before Santa, he can eat one
cookie, but he isn't allowed to drink the milk.  If he is thirsty, though,
he can go grab a quick drink of water from the toilet bowl.

Hope this helps clear up some of the questions you had about the gifts left for your pets on Christmas Eve.

T-Minus 8 Days Until Christmas...

Merry Birthday

It doesn't happen often, but every now and then, you get the most perfect gift in the world.

That was the case for my parents, more years ago than I want to admit.  In a way, it was a gift that I gave them, not just that day, but every second since.  Pure perfection for the last 1,042,465,600 seconds.

My parents tried to duplicate this perfection 15 months later.  My brother
 was close, but like a movie sequel, never as good as the original.

I know what you are thinking. It's kind of freaky that I was born with all of those teeth, right?

So...that's what I would look like with bangs...

Wondering what I want for my birthday? Click here.

T-Minus 9 Days Until Christmas...

Magical Time Machine

I was taking out the last of my holiday decorations last night, and I came across my most favorite snow globe and I gave it a quick shake.

Make and shake you own personalized snow globe of your house.

A snow globe. A magical time machine. It's as though each flake of snow is a memory of Christmas past that comes to life with a simple shake.  As the flakes danced around in that mystical snow globe, memories came flooding back.

Like that time when I was a kid and Santa sent me a video.

I couldn't believe he knew who I was, but he did!

He even had a picture of me in his book.

That year my parents had asked me not to tell so many lies.

Anyone care to wager if I ended up on the nice or naughty list that year...

This year I got another video from Santa.  I'm really hoping I finally made if off of the Naughty List.

You can see the video here or make you own.

Shoot. Still on the Naughty List.

I really don't think it is fair though.  Just because I refuse to grow up and spend way too much money on gadgets is not a good reason to be stuck on the Naughty List.

Speaking of gadgets. I found the most amazing Talking Santa App, and it was FREE!!!!  Take that Santa...too much money on gadgets....I think not.

Click here to see this video on YouTube.

Touché Santa. Touché

As the flakes in my snow globe were settling, I saw one lone flake still dancing in the snow globe sky, reminding me of one more cherished memory of Christmas past.

It was just last year. A Christmas Vacation spent with friends.  

Click here to see this video on YouTube.

T-Minus 10 Days Until Christmas....

Three Unwise Men

The Three Wise Men followed the Star of Bethlehem, bearing gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Guided, by the light, through the night. Finding their destination.

The Three Unwise Men did not follow the Star of Bethlehem. Instead, the Three Unwise Men pulled out their Apple iPhone's, equipped with a newly released map app, and ended up off course.

Having traveled for many days, constantly asking for wisdom and direction from Siri, it became obvious that they were never going to find the manger.

Shocker AT&T! Only one bar at my house...
For Christmas, can you stop dropping my calls?

Not wanting the gift to go to waste, the Three Unwise Men decided to open the gift.

Good thing they opened it.  He was probably running out of air.

And they exclaimed, "We will call him Buster -- which means, "Badly Behaved Dog"

T-Minus 11 Days Until Christmas...

Dear Santa...

As I was going to bed last night, I realized that if I want Santa to get my letter in time, I needed to get on top of that.

With a smile like that you might be
fooled to think I'm on the "Nice List"

What to ask for from Santa for Chirstmas???

I thought about it long and hard.  Then, like a sign, Mariah Carey came blaring through my speakers...

If the video won't play, click here to see it on YouTube

T-Minus 12 Days Until Christmas

12! 12! 12!

If my true love gave me the gifts from The Twelve Days of Christmas, I would not be happy. All those people and birds-- no thank you.  If someone is going to spend $107,000 dollars on a Christmas gift for me, it better include this:

I want a "December to Remember" after all.

While the 12 days of Christmas don't officially start until December 25th, I thought today, the day of twelves, would be the perfect day to commemorate this iconic (albeit stupid and impractical) Christmas song.

Since 12 divided by my lucky number equals seven, I thought to myself, what better gift to celebrate through photos than Seven-Swans-a-Swimming.

My inspiration- Bjork

I have to admit that this was not my idea, but rarely will I turn down a challenge. A fact my friend Jana knows and exploits.

Thanks Mom for making my very own swan dress.
I love it and can't wait for the chance to wear it again.

The picture could have ended there, but the song doesn't say, 'Seven Swans-a-Chillin-on-the-Beach'.  Nope, it says 'Seven Swans-a-Swimming'.

Closed?  I don't think so...

I brought some rubber duckies in with me to represent
the other swans, but as luck would have it, there was a
a family of geese swimming by, and they make a much
better substitute for swans.

Did anybody else notice that if you add up the number of geese (use your imagination and pretend they are swans) swimming in the background and me, it totals SEVEN?  It was meant to be!

 I have no idea what I'm doing. It was cold,
so let's pretend I was moving around to stay warm.

There's the saying, "graceful as a swan," and what is
more graceful than a ballerina pose like this?

T-minus 13 days until Christmas...

Internal thought: I really wish Jesus would have been born on the 24th, so I could say T-Minus 12 Days Until Christmas. How awesome would that have been?

Nerd alert: How many of you actually did the math to figure out that my lucky number is 1.71428571?

Professional Family Portrait

It had been awhile since my family had a professional portrait taken.

And by awhile, I mean forever.

Never knowing what to get my parents for Christmas, I figured that a family portrait would be the perfect gift.

My dad was a little grumpy in the beginning,
but by the end he found his Christmas spirit.

I'm sure Matt is bummed he couldn't be a part of this. Don't worry though.  The next time you are in town we will make sure to take another family photo.

Look at how happy my parents are.  I'm trying to figure out exactly
what they are smiling about. I'm thinking it is that they are
proud of the mature adult I have become.

T-Minus 14 Days Until Christmas...

Reindeer Reilly

Dasher. Dancer. Prancer. Vixen. Comet. Cupid. Donner. Blitzen. Rudolph.

They get all of the credit.  Year after year.

It's not to say that they aren't the most experienced reindeers, because they are.  Up until 54 years ago, they were the only nine reindeers in Santa's fleet.  That all changed when Vixen, angry that he couldn't get two weeks off over Christmas, rallied the other reindeers to start a union.

Part of the result from the union forming was the hiring and training of substitute reindeers.  A substitute reindeer signs a 10 year contract.  They may never actually get the call, but their contract requires them to be available to fill in on Christmas Eve.

A lot of people think that Santa spends 11 months of the
year sleeping and resting after the rigorous demands during
the holiday season.  Truth is, there is no rest for Santa.

This year a notice went out that Santa was expanding the substitute reindeer program to all four-legged animal.  Reilly told me he wanted to try out.

 

Santa is responsible for the training of all substitute reindeers. I was
so proud of Reilly for making it in to the training program.

Fun fact. All nine of the original reindeers took the Christmas Eve off was 1987, when Comet got married.  That  was the only year the sleigh was flown completely by a crew of substitute reindeers. 

Initial training starts on the ground and only
after a trainee successfully completes 40 hours
of ground training will they move on to more
advanced training sessions.

Reilly was a natural out there. Santa said it was as though Reilly was born for this and that the results he was seeing from Reilly was exactly why he expanded the program to all four-legged animals.

Upon graduation, Santa will take a the top two graduates out
for a midnight run on his smaller sleigh.

I was so proud of Reilly for graduating as Valedictorian of the 2012 substitute reindeer training class.

T-Minus 15 Days Until Christmas...

Background image courtesy of suphakit73 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Senior Year

It was 1997.  I was entering my senior year of high school which meant senior pictures.  Finally, school pictures where you can show off your personality.

Some people took their pictures with their car. Others with their pets. Some flanked in sporting gear.

I decided to highlight my most favorite holiday.

As soon as I got them back I quickly started writing notes on the back of them to hand out to my friends:

Were finally done! Thanks four letting me
cheat off of you're tests in english class.
Have fun in college; and I hope we stay in touch.

Stay awesome and have an great summer. No
matter what, have fun in college. I'm going to
miss being your classmate.

I can't believe we are graduating.  This year has been so awesome and
I am so glad that we are Best Friends -- now and forever.
And Merry Christmas!

T-Minus 16 Days Until Christmas...

Merry Chrismukkah

With Hanukkah beginning today, I busted out my lucky dreidel, with hopes to walk away with a loot of chocolate coins.

I'm feeling confident with my lucky dreidel and 7 chocolate coins.

It was an action packed game.

After what seemed like a hundred rounds, it came down to just two of us. I could tell that my competitor was not going to go down without a fight, but I never expected him to try to cheat.

Click here to view the video at YouTube.

He ended up being disqualified for interference...

...and so continues my streak.  Twelve years as dreidel champion!!

T-Minus 17 Days Until Christmas...

Candy Land

My friend summed up this picture best.  It's awkward. Period.

This was actually one of the original ideas that kicked off my Holiday Antics. Even though my candy cane pose didn't end up anything like I had pictured it in my head, it hit a level of awkwardness I couldn't have planned.

I honestly don't even know what to say about this picture, so I'll rely on you guys to come up with captions for me.

Caption This

Oh my goodness. I'm nervous.

T-Minus 18 Days until Christmas

Red Ryder BB Gun

There is one Christmas gift I had wanted since I was 8 years old.

An Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.

Every year I hoped for one and every year I was disappointed. My parents said it was because they didn't want me to shoot my eye out, but I think the real reason was that they were worried that I would shoot my brother.

Which probably would have happened.

Last year I decided to ask Santa one last time for the gift that has eluded me for the last 25 years.

It didn't go well.

After a swift kick to the face, forcing me down the slide, I gave up on my dream and decided it was time to move on. To find a new dream.

That all changed Christmas morning. I had finally made it off of the naughty list. The big guy finally came through. There it was. Hiding in the corner. A Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.

It was a thing of beauty and I couldn't wait to try it out.

I even got a video of the first time I pulled the trigger.

If the video won't play, click here to see it on YouTube

And to see the original from the movie, click here.

It was also the only time I pulled the trigger.


Oh...and don't forget to get involved.

T-Minus 19 days until Christmas...

T'was the night before Christmas...

The other night when Reilly and I were getting ready for bed, I could sense that he wanted to hear a story.  

With Christmas on my mind, I decided to tell him one of the most recited Christmas stories:

T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

Wait a second.... 

Sugar-plums?!?!  What kid in their right mind dreams of sugar-plums?

I have NEVER had a dream about sugar-plums, and I certainly wouldn't the night before Christmas.

Now that's more like it...

Pretty sure if he could speak he would be saying,
"Please stop torturing me!"

Did any of you notice that the price tag is still on the footie pajamas that I got from the kids department at Target for Reilly to wear?

Yup.

That's why you always wash your clothes before wearing them.

T-minus 20 days until Christmas...

Santa Snowman

What do you do when you go to the dollar store and see some hideous Santa decorations? You buy them and force your parents to take pictures.

It sort of looks like a snowman made
out of Santa faces.

And as if holding Santa masks wasn't weird enough, I decided we should step it up a notch on the creep-o-meter and stick out our tongues.

I'm not sure if I look more like my
mom or my dad, but it is clear that I
got my tongue from my mom.

In other Santa/Snowman news: Is anyone else concerned about the subliminal messages being told to children in Frosty the Snowman?

T-minus 21 days until Christmas...

Confession

Ten years ago Santa approached me and asked me to join his company, North Pole Limited. After completing an extensive elf training program I was assigned to the Minnesota territory.

Until now, I haven't told anyone about this, but now that the elf is out of the bag, I want to invite you all in for a glimpse of what my life is every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.

For proprietary reasons, I can't let you inside my workshop, but there are no rules about showing you the outside.

It's a myth that all the work is done at the North Pole.
There are actually mini-workshops all across the world
and I am the Director of Gadget Creation in the
Minneapolis Division.

Not to brag, but you can thank me for SkyMall.

My friend Jana tried to get a peak inside, but I caught
her in time. Someone just got added to the naughty list.

I rarely go out in to public wearing my uniform,
but I really needed to talk to my boss and I heard
he was at the mall.

These four are elves in training.

Every elf 's training starts out as Mall Santa Security
Guard. It gives Santa a chance to see how they work
with children. Only 1 in every 1225 applicants
make it to the next step in the training program.

T-minus 22 days until Christmas...